Day 1 - Post 1 - The First Step

Well... here I go! Day one of a long and winding journey ahead of me. I have decided that it is time to stop coming up with reasons... OK, excuses not to lose all my excess baggage. I will be documenting in this blog as much as I can - whoops, that was another excuse... I take it back, I will be documenting EVERYTHING I do regarding food and exercise. I believe that this will hold me accountable for my actions and help me stay positive and motivated.

I have been overweight since I was in my fourth year of college so that's about 5 (probably more) years of unhealthy habits, and obvious weight gain. When I left college, I wasn't nearly as active as I had been. In college, I was forced to walk all over campus to get to classes and to the better dining halls. I was involved in a sorority (Tau Beta Sigma) and also the marching band. I was rarely in my dorm or apartment, except to study - so moving about was natural.

Once I entered into my fourth year of college, I was overcome with depression. It effected my grades and my desire to be active. Many days I just laid around and watched TV or munched on food. I became a bored and emotional eater, yet I wasn't feeling any better. My mother noticed a change in my behavior and asked me if I was depressed. She told me that she was concerned about me. I blew off her suggestion but one day while watching one of those depressing Zoloft commercials, I realized I was the woman on the couch, wrapped in a blanket not wanting to move a muscle. I saw a counselor and took Zoloft for a few months.

I moved home with my parents and found a full time job. One would think that kept me active but it did the opposite. I worked as a school photographer and although it was a physical job, it conflicted with a healthy eating schedule. I was up really early in the morning to drive to the schools - and if you know me you know I've never been a morning person. So I would roll out of bed and scramble to shower and get out the door - meaning I would swing through McDonald's or Tim Horton's for breakfast. Lunchtime seldom exists when you are responsible for photographing a school. Yes, most jobs they sent more than one photographer - but often times the school would have classes scheduled so that there wasn't enough time for you to take a lunch break. That meant, either on my way home from work (with a growling stomach) or on my way to the next job - I made another pitstop through McDonald's or Wendy's... sometimes Subway if I felt guilty and had the time.

I've tried Atkins diet, Weight Watchers, Jazzercize, Jenny Craig, not eating, over eating, walking, jogging, swimming, Xbox 360 Kinect active2, gyms ... and the list goes on.

So why have I decided NOW that I need to get healthy? I married a wonderful man in 2009 and prior to our wedding I went to the doctor just to get my annual check up. My doctor told me that I was considered severely obese (because of a high BMI). I lost about 12 pounds before the wedding - but unfortunately, I found it (and some of it's friends) after we got married. My husband deployed to Afghanistan for a year and I thought it would be a great time to lose all the weight I needed to be healthy again. I lost nearly 20 pounds (putting me lower than at the time of our wedding) in time for my husband's mid-tour leave. He was very complimentary and proud of what I had to lose the weight... we even tried jogging together on vacation!!!

But then when our 2 week vacation was up and he returned to Afghanistan, I let the stress of him being in a hazardous area, the holidays, moving back to post, unpacking and winter affect my weightloss... and gained even more weight back.

Last week I peeked at my all time highest weight - 238 pounds.

There is no way I am going to be able to fit myself into a gown for the military ball in 25 days - yuck!!

So now the fun begins, I know this isn't going to happen in 1 week - for goodness sake we're talking about losing a minimum of 75 pounds here!! But I am ready to take the first step. This blog is going to be my outlet - my honest outlet - where I can talk about everything that happened during the day regarding my food consumption and exercise (or lack thereof).

My husband and I are very good at eating healthy on a regular basis - my problem is that I don't know when to stop.

Beginning as soon as I click "publish post" I vow to track all my food consumption and exercise. I vow to learn to control my portions and to find ways around that "mentally hungry but not physically hungry" feeling. I vow to find some form of physical movement to get myself up and active.

I owe it to myself. I owe it to my future.

I am off to take a walk around the neighborhood - my first step towards a healthier future!!!